The Kitchen by Neil Sharpson

You’re up late.
I couldn’t sleep. I have a myyyyyyy-grain.
Oh no. Oh no. Want me to rub it?
Pleeeeeease.
There now. How’s that feel?
A little better. It’s the smoke in the air. It gets inside my head and I can feel it like a
bedspring that got loose. Digging into my brain. Really getting into the soft parts.
It’s the heat.
It’s the heat. How are we supposed to sleep?
I go for walks in the night. Through the gardens. Over hedges. I went down to the beach and
stood in the water. But the water was hotter than the air, it felt.
I tried eating.
Did it help?
No. Noooooo. It’s the smoke in the air.
Let me see. Oh dear. That will need bandaging. You took a lot, didn’t you?
I was hungry. The smoke.
They were burning pig on the beach.
Oooooooh. Did you see?
Yes. They turned the sky red and black. And the ocean was like gold in a dark room.
Next time you go for a walk at night, see if I’m awake.
Would you come with me?
I’d go with you anywhere, you know that.
I love you.
I love you too.
I love you.

I love you too.
I love you.
I love you too.
I love you.
I love you too.
I love you.
I love you too.
I love you.
I love you too.
I love you.
I love you too.
I love you more.
I love you more.
I love you more.
I love you more.
I love you more.
I love you more.
SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU SHIT YOU BITCH YOU CUNT YOU PRICK
YOU FUCKING HOLE!

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I have a myyyy-graine.
I understand.
It’s the smoke.
I can taste it. A little black spot of ash at the back of my throat.
Have you ever seen me asleep?
What?

Have you ever seen me asleep?
That is a ridiculous question.
So you have?
That is a ridiculous question.
So you haven’t?
Why are you asking me that?
I can’t remember ever sleeping.
It has been hard to get to sleep.
And I don’t know if that’s because I’m too tired to remember…
Because of the heat. Because of the smoke.
…or if it just never happened.
It’s been a looooooooooong summer.
Yes.
Do ever feel blood trickling in your head? Do you feel it moving?
They were burning pig on the beach. It made such a noise. Such a noise.
Dumb beasts. They make such a racket.
No. Nooooo.
Noooooooo. Hah. Hah.
That was good. That was good. You have a talent.
Thank you. Have you ever seen me sleep?
What?
Have you ever seen me sleep?
Yes. I have.
You wouldn’t lie to me?
I would never lie to you.

What do I look like, when I’m asleep?
You look like…
What?
It’s hard to say. Hard to describe.
Maybe if I could picture it. I could sleep.
You should try sleeping now.
I tried. But it’s too hot. And there’s smoke. And I have a myyyyyyyy-graine.
They were burning pig on the beach.
I’m hungry.
I brought you some.
What?
The men on the beach. I asked for some and they said “sure neighbour”. That’s what they
said.
That’s so nice. Neighbour.
Neighbour.
We have neighbours.
We are neighbours. Here. Have some. I brought it to you in a little bag.
What are they?
Pig knuckles.
Oh they look tasty.
Try one.
Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmmm. Ow!
What? Bone?
Ow. No. This one had a ring.

Neil Sharpson is a novelist living in Dublin. He is the author of When the Sparrow Falls (selected as Science Fiction Book of the Month by The Times and The Guardian and one of the Ten Best Science Fiction Books of 2021 by The Times) and Knock Knock Open Wide (“a high water mark for the Irish horror novel”- Publisher’s Weekly). His third novel, The Burial Tide will be on sale in Spring 2025. He is also a Irish Writer’s Centre Novel Fair Winner and a Graduate of the Abbey Theatre’s New Playwright’s Programme and BBC Writer’s Room.

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  1. New Horror | unshavedmouse avatar

    […] short (very short) horror (very horror) story The Kitchen can be read here as well as chilling contributions from some of the best current Irish horror […]

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